The following is part one of a 30 or so part series that was written long ago and now is making its public debue(or something). This one is one of the longer ones. Enjoy!

4-7-03-Monday-what not-etc.
Stravinsky uses effective language and tone to display his meaning that doesn’t work. Igor Stravinsky uses language and tone effectively to present meaning, through some such nonsense. Stravinsky presents the meaning of his piece through effective use of language and rhetoric, but that’s not right. Stravinsky conveys his point of view that orchestra conductors are nothing more than pretenders through well formed language and a variety of rhetorical devices. This one works quite well. Now there is nothing left to say, other than everything. Stravinsky’s view is effectively presented through language and rhetorical devices of many kinds. They include, but are not limited to, random gibberish.

Exactly why do men too often set their standards too high, no, not too high, but in the wrong direction? Men are right to have high standards for their future wives, but it should not be in the area of beauty and capability. It should be in who they are, not what they are. The men who set for themselves a standard of beauty in a wife are setting themselves up for doomsday. If that is their only requirement, they will likely end up divorced when their wives reaches middle age and begins to lose their attractiveness. If the man also sets up more standards in other areas, or is truly in love and does not want a divorce, he will likely end up in an affair and spread his ruin around.

Where is it at? The big blue house. Where? The big blue house down that one road. It’s the only big blue house around, you can’t miss it. But can I find it? That doesn’t matter, as long as you don’t miss it, you’ll get there. Why do I want to get there, anyway? Because it’s where you wanted to go, isn’t? But I can’t remember why I wanted to go there, so is there any reason for me to continue to go where I don’t want to? How do you know you don’t want to? Because I can’t remember why I was going there. So, they could be planning to give you a million dollars, and you would still want to go there, even though you don’t remember. But what if they were serving me with Jury duty? They do that at a courthouse. Okay, how about blackmail? You wanted to go there before, and I doubt you would want to if it was blackmail. Maybe I wanted to stop the blackmail, and eat my dinner without worrying that videos of me dancing at my senior prom get out on the internet. Why would you care about pictures from your prom? I wouldn’t, but that would be just the kind of threat someone would use to blackmail someone else, and I wouldn’t feel right disappointing them and their grand scheme. But it wasn’t blackmail, was it? No, but I’m sure it was something that I wanted, but now I don’t want. Because you don’t know what it is. That’s besides the point. I made up my mind and now I’m going to live with it, and it is my choice not to go there. But you don’t even know where there is, so you could go there without realizing it. But if I do, and I wanted to be where I didn’t know I was, then I would be wrong. And that’s important how? It’s not, but then I wouldn’t have needed to stop for directions, and then I wouldn’t have forgotten the reason I was going. And I could have just stayed in bed. And then I would have arrived knowing why I was going, instead of not getting anywhere and having no idea why I wasn’t there. You aren’t there because you don’t remember where you were going. I remember where, I just don’t remember why; and that’s the important part of the equation. How could it be important unless you were there and needed to know what you were doing there, instead of being here whining about your lack of self knowledge. Are you sure this is safe? What? Telling someone their whining. How could it be unsafe? You could damage their self-esteem, and then they may go out, and either kill other people or kill themselves. I’m not sure informing someone of the truth is. . . And then you would be to blame for all the deaths, and you would wonder why you ever talked about a blue house down the road. I talked about it because I was asked about it; boy, you’re a morbid person. You brought up death. No I didn’t; I asked how it was dangerous, and you said it could cause death, and that I would probably have to go to the funeral because I somehow brought it on. Funeral! Hm? I was going to a funeral! Oh dear, I hope it wasn’t any one close, for their sake. No, no, it was just my sisters-in-law’s uncle’s cousin’s niece’s husband’s dentist’s sister’s former boyfriend. And you are going to this because. . .? He’s my cousin. Then why did you loop all the way around like that? Because I never liked him, and like to claim that I’m not really related to him. Right, so you’re going to his funeral because? He supposedly left my his motor home, but his will will be read at the funeral, so I need to get their; do you have directions to the Pierson home? Blue house, down this road. Where? Funny, real funny. Okay, so where is it? Get in your car, point it that way, and drive as fast as you can, and when you see a blue house stop. Will that be the house? Yes, either that or the William’s, and they’ll shoot anyone who steps on their property, so you’ll get to a funeral either way.

Nothing is as it seems, waiting here for another to show up for conversation. Maybe I should talk to the one who is here, but then I would say less over here and then there might be less to say, and the world would begin to be depleted of letters. Then what was already said would be all that could ever be said, and life would loose its luster, speaking of Luster. Faulkner is crazy but he can write famous books. Luster is a simple boy who is forced to do what he doesn’t want to for no gain, and he takes his anger out on Benji. Benj is all of a sudden going out with Jenny, and whatever happened to Brandon? The distance of college was apparently too great, but then Jenny is going off to college come the beginning of next year, and thus this too shall pass or she is staying in town for college, or she is going to Seattle, and that is where Benj will be so she’ll have to go there otherwise it will be over and nothing come of it. But the quiet ones will be there, and they’ll get them, because they drank too much coffee, didn’t grow any, and are now out to get the tall people. Either that or they were really big heels, and grow 4 inches over night, and then shrink, then grow, then shrink, etc. This cycle will continue until the end of the dance, or until the shoes are lost, whichever comes first. And if the quiet ones will get them, then it’s the quiet ones they should watch. Clearly that cliche fits in this situation, but others are just as important in the future. The early bird gets the worm. First off, who would really want a worm? And how do we know that this bird is actually the early bird, not just the biggest, badest bird around, and he just scared off all the nice early birds? And clearly there also bad things to being early, because if the worm wasn’t early than the bird couldn’t get him, so it could be rewritten as the ‘The late worm saves his skin.’ One mustn’t judge a book by it’s cover. In that case, should you judge it by its reviews or its blurb? Or should one read the entire book before buying it, making sure it’s worth it, but then it wouldn’t be worth the buying because you already read it. I’d finish the book, put it back on the shelf, and then the salesperson would ask me why I weren’t buying, I would tell her that I already read it and walk out of the store. The only store that I’ll always get something at is Costco, because they have those wonderful free samples. On days when I’m too rushed for dinner, or just plain broke, I’ll head over to Costco and make the rounds, getting a couple of little meats and crackers and then I’d go around again, this time in a red haired wig, so they wouldn’t think I was talking more. The next time around it would be dark glasses, then long black hair, followed by a disco jacket, than blue Mohawk, and after that combat fatigues, then a toga, and by that point they’d have either run out of free samples or I would be full. Even if I was full, I’d still make the rounds, because the toga gets the most comments, and that is what is worth the whole trip. So instead of eating the food, I take it with me and accidentally drop it into the lobster tank. It’s rather interesting to watch the lobsters fight over little bits of food, and to be pulled out and dropped into a tank of boiling water. Now where is the sport in that?

Sometimes I think just about any word should be coupled with some- or any-. Like back there, it should have been anyword, or someword. It would make life easier, and create a whole new category of descriptive phrases, such as "Somegirl is cute." It’s more specific than "Some girl" but more general than actually naming the girl. And if you use the phrase anygirl it’s more general than "any girl" and this you’ve now created a very varied scale to measure by, and can be very specific in how you refer to anyone object without actually naming it. Society could be on the brink of advancing to a new age, if only people would began to use the system laid out here. A major advancement in history is just waiting for someone to realize that this idea is perfect, the rest of society’s ignorant, and they need to educate everyone. That person just isn’t me, because I’m too busy creating new ideas to be bothered with fixing the problems of society. Leave that up to the Nelson Mandelas, the Jimmy Carters, the Batmen of the world. I just want to get a big glass of hot cocoa–no, cider–and sit back and watch a good documentary on the territorial claims of the banana slug. No further questions, your honor.

We also need people to create problems in the world. If everyone is just fixing problems, soon everything will be fixed and all the people will get bored, the smart people will leave, and the devious ones will make problems and there won’t be anyone to fix them. This would explain Pandora’s Box a little better. The smart people fixed the world, and then left because it was too boring. Pandora happened to have a box that had a the worlds only too mosquitoes in it, though, because she was still there, she clearly wasn’t smart, and thus opened the box. The two mosquitoes flew out and began to irritate people. They got angry, and the devious ones began to be devious. In this instance the smart people made two mistakes. First, they left, second, the didn’t kill all the mosquitoes. Clearly, the second one is by far the graver offense, but since the smart people left, there is little that can be done to punish them. So we have to punish the stupid people by making them fill out tax returns without the aid of a calculator, and then we let them wonder how they owe the United States government $2,949,340.34 5/9. It’s all a result of bad math, and the Smart-Exit effect. Of course, this doesn’t explain why I’m still here, but I’m assuming this new exodus hasn’t yet occurred, because I’m the only one who thought of it, thus they can’t leave without knowing that they are leaving. Speaking of leaving, is that what it is called when trees drop their leaves? Cows go calving in the spring, do trees go leaving in the fall?