4-21-03-This is nothing new
Music, words, and noise. Well, music is often just noise with rhythm, a beat, and the occasional nice sounding note combination. Beyond that, it is only an random conglomeration of sounds and ideas, and half the time the ideas are bad, and the other half, they don’t match the sound. But who am I to complain? I’ll leave that to the critics who half the time are over paid, and the other half the time have nothing worthwhile to say. Gesundheit. Why are manners what they are? Or grammar for that instance. These couple of sentences should be a new paragraph, but I left them attached to previous one, which creates mass confusion and hysteria. But back to the point. In a grammatically correct new paragraph.

Why are manners and formality the way they are? Why must the fork go on the left? Why do you wear a boutonniere with a tuxedo(and why is it not called a man-fl–oh, wait. I know why)? Most things pertaining to manners were set down years and years ago by dead sadists whose only goal in life was to create the most diabolical thing that will last the longest time. These are the same people responsible for budgets and the pacer test. Manners should be rewritten by the top minds of today, in order to retain some formality but also to be incredibly functional. These could even help mend the rift between the right and the left, particularly when speaking of hands. And they all said, "Achoo."

Why do people keep paying for their cars? I think you should pay once and be done with it. These monthly payment things are irritating, not to mention expensive. I think I’ve payed for my car a dozen times now. The sales person said it was only $160 per month, but he forgot to mention it’s the same price even if I don’t use the car. I think I’ll sue him for fraud.

If practice makes perfect, why do you need to keep practicing? When you practice so much, you become perfect, and when you’re perfect, you shouldn’t need to practice anymore because you cannot get any better, and being perfect, you can’t get any worse. Clearly, someone forgot to say that while practice makes you perfect, it takes more practice than is humanly possible, so clearly practice makes perfect only in a perfect world, which are isn’t because it clearly didn’t practice. Garn.

I’m not pulling your leg. Break a leg. What’s with these violent leg figures of speech? If someone got down and pulled your leg, you’d probably kick them, not to mention call the police. And possibly mace them. With gasoline. And a lighter. And if someone tells you to break a leg, could you consider that a threat? Try telling the president to go jump off a bridge, and see what happens. The Secret Service will be on you faster than a koala on the last eucalyptus leaf. Koalas are slow. Bad analogy. How about: Like a pack of cheerleaders on the last cosmetic pack. So, if you can’t say that to the president, why can you say it to actors? Are they not really people, and thus not worth protecting? And if they’re not people, do they fall under the animal cruelty act? I always though that was poorly named. It sounds like it is advocating cruelty to animals. Just don’t tell PETA that. They’ll think it was a secret conspiracy, and they’ll stage mass protests to get the name changed, and someone will have to tell them they had their leg pulled, at which time why will attempt to get a legislation passed that pans the pulling of legs of animals, because it would be cruel, although there is no legislation banning it from occurring to humans. Go jump off a bridge(if the president read that, I didn’t mean anything. And if the Secret Service is reading this, I didn’t mean you were like cheerleaders or koalas, though I know which I’d rather be. Ta-ta, I’m off to eat some leaves).

Accents are a form of art and cultural identity. The voice of one from London’s south side is completely different than that of an Australian from Queensland. If a person has an accent, they are automatically believed to be either foreigners or cultured people. Each accent reveals a distinct people and way of life, and they all contribute to the whole. If someone says "‘ere ou arr, ‘Arold," you now you have a wacko on your hand, particularly if your naim ain’t Arold. The language of men comes from many origins, and this makes little sense, due to the interference of communication from other not so fun sources. That’s all folks!